In the past 24 hours, I have achieved much. I've brought Kok Loong to church for the first and second time, and introduced him as Daniel 'cause we thought it'd be simpler; I've finally met his elusive elder brother who at first glance looks like your typical friendly neighbour; I've shared an apple pie with my church girls, driven a Proton, caught a long-awaited movie in the cinema, had late tea with my mother's relatives and consequently gotten a scolding from my father.
And for once, I pushed away the desire to lay the blame on others. If I hadn't decided to delay filling my petrol tank last night, I wouldn't have had to drive so slowly and carefully this evening with my last bar dangerously blinking away. If I hadn't been so ambitious and arranged a movie outing with Jaf to help relieve his depression, I wouldn't have had to be late for the relatives and therefore late for dinner with my father. If I hadn't...
All this I told myself as I cursed the driver who'd cut me and made me just miss the 4-minute green light in front of OU. And with all this in mind, I resolved to shoulder the blame like a man, because it made sense to say that it had been my fault. I'm not one to grapple with common sense.
Why choose to act stupid when the one pulling wool over your eyes is your own self?
So I faced his wrath. He was fuming as he used to do always, before he'd finally left home. I'd looked forward to telling him everything about my week, displaying my little triumphs and disappointments; but now before his anger, my girlish gossip shriveled into a tiny bead of fear.
I had nothing I wanted to say.
We sat down without saying a word, for dinner. I tried to see past my fear, and this time, I saw tiredness behind the lines of fury on his face. This time I began to understand, and recall the times I'd been just as irritable due to a hectic day. So I kept my stubbornness in check, and refrained from acting deliberately brazen. I summoned self control and patiently kept my expression calm but not too carefree - that would be asking for trouble.
As John Steinback had written, 'Sometimes the quality of woman, the reason, the caution, the sense of preservation, could cut through Kino's manness and save them all.' My father was Kino tonight, half-filled with rage. And my self-preservation succeeded in somewhat diffusing the situation. By the end of the hour, his tone had returned to almost normal. But I'd only managed to tell him a fraction of all I'd wanted to.
Now I realise, this is how anger drives others away.
____________________________________________________
Saturday's movie at church : Facing The Giants.
It was alright, about half as wonderful as Fireproof, haha. Had less of everything; humorous moments, revelations, seamless flow of storyline.
Sunday's movie with Jaf : Fast & Furious 4.
Ooooooooh I've been waiting for this!
And truly, it did not disappoint. The car chase scenes were well thought out, that's for sure. And the laugh which kickstarted the movie... Fast & Furious 4, translated to become Pantas dan Garang 4. Ahahahhha. Should've used Ganas or something else instead.
A movie way worth watching.
And for once, I pushed away the desire to lay the blame on others. If I hadn't decided to delay filling my petrol tank last night, I wouldn't have had to drive so slowly and carefully this evening with my last bar dangerously blinking away. If I hadn't been so ambitious and arranged a movie outing with Jaf to help relieve his depression, I wouldn't have had to be late for the relatives and therefore late for dinner with my father. If I hadn't...
All this I told myself as I cursed the driver who'd cut me and made me just miss the 4-minute green light in front of OU. And with all this in mind, I resolved to shoulder the blame like a man, because it made sense to say that it had been my fault. I'm not one to grapple with common sense.
Why choose to act stupid when the one pulling wool over your eyes is your own self?
So I faced his wrath. He was fuming as he used to do always, before he'd finally left home. I'd looked forward to telling him everything about my week, displaying my little triumphs and disappointments; but now before his anger, my girlish gossip shriveled into a tiny bead of fear.
I had nothing I wanted to say.
We sat down without saying a word, for dinner. I tried to see past my fear, and this time, I saw tiredness behind the lines of fury on his face. This time I began to understand, and recall the times I'd been just as irritable due to a hectic day. So I kept my stubbornness in check, and refrained from acting deliberately brazen. I summoned self control and patiently kept my expression calm but not too carefree - that would be asking for trouble.
As John Steinback had written, 'Sometimes the quality of woman, the reason, the caution, the sense of preservation, could cut through Kino's manness and save them all.' My father was Kino tonight, half-filled with rage. And my self-preservation succeeded in somewhat diffusing the situation. By the end of the hour, his tone had returned to almost normal. But I'd only managed to tell him a fraction of all I'd wanted to.
Now I realise, this is how anger drives others away.
____________________________________________________
Saturday's movie at church : Facing The Giants.
It was alright, about half as wonderful as Fireproof, haha. Had less of everything; humorous moments, revelations, seamless flow of storyline.
Sunday's movie with Jaf : Fast & Furious 4.
Ooooooooh I've been waiting for this!
And truly, it did not disappoint. The car chase scenes were well thought out, that's for sure. And the laugh which kickstarted the movie... Fast & Furious 4, translated to become Pantas dan Garang 4. Ahahahhha. Should've used Ganas or something else instead.
A movie way worth watching.
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