Everywhere Aches

Please, I just need somewhere to cry. To show myself.

Now I know why I get on the fast lane. So I can get home, fast; I keep thinking of how I should be afraid of crashing into another car in this state.
Yes I can soothe your pain, relieve your anger, stand by you and stay up as long as you need me to, my dears. But for a moment tonight I felt I'd been a listening ear, advisor and encourager; now who was going to be mine?
With wide open eyes I listened to my girl sobs as my hands steadied the wheel.

Suddenly I felt so afraid. It never occurred to me to.
I feel so tired. Everywhere aches. But there is no pillow for my heart, no shoulder for my head and I can't rest my body. I must go on. There will always be trouble at inopportune times such as these, but I have two essay papers tomorrow and I must go on.

Flashes of Reality

Clippings from recent yesterdays:

I'm at peace.

Brings tears to my eyes.
Every time.
Thank you for loving me.

Had a leisurely, quietly industrious morning in the sweet sunshine. I love this tranquil presence in me.

Hamlet for president!

You can call me anytime, in tears in heartache, and I'll be there for you.

Without knowing it, I'd made your day; and though it was not the best timing, it felt great! I liked hearing about your plans, your motivations, and how you're gonna give it all a shot even if just for knowledge's sake. It makes my world a little more meaningful, to see someone reaching just the same way I am.

Scaling Glass Walls

Girl, why're you crying here?
The signs stop making sense
and you can't tell why the sudden
hurt so thick, can't see the road
for lights of streaks, every time
you blink.
Why're you driving in the fast lane?
when all you want is to go slow, and
go back where you belong.

Never peeled your own potatoes
Never had to scale glass walls
Never had so little to say while
trying to look happy.
Never thought of how, weblike, the
traffic lights could glare trapped
between your lashes.

But I will - always - carry your tea mug
behind, no matter how many times I
drive in the fast lane
without knowing why


fell out love's cradle;
I was never meant to be a baby,
always always I had to grow up
before my time

with the exception of life's sweetest days,
scores and hundreds of them
strung together in your presence. Then I tripped at the knot.

Dropped my keys - did not pick them up;
did not stop did not care did not look
until I'd reached blank sheet.

You see without looking,
hear without listening,
are here without being,
and I feel I'm alone.

So let me be; from the rooftops I'd
wanted to shout it out, now I just need to find my way down
to a safe place.
Where they keep their promises.

Author's note: Written one shot. Unembellished thoughts; merges everything important, or which was important, to me.

Imported ThDC

Jam-packed week and -end. Been floating in the 'sick' region for nearly a week now; darn sore throat threatened to ruin my Wed Psych presentation but it suddenly cleared two hours before. Deliberately cut classes for the first time - two days in a row. Once to sleep in hopes of recovery, and once to burn rubber to Subang.

Last dance practice on Wed.

Last dance performance on Thurs. At least, until A2 ends in late Nov. =(



Thurs also happened to be Yee Fai's birthday; good thing it coincided with Subang's ECA Drive and they invited us to perform!



The circumstances were bad though; it was an outdoor affair and had rained thoroughly beforehand. The stage was soaked and I had to detour to pick up a hard copy of our soundtrack. Thank goodness I still made it in time.
Didn't know we were the first ones on; I hate rushing right before a performance. After rolling on the waterlogged stage and successfully ruining my hair within the first twenty seconds, I was only satisfied that I jumped decently high compared to past stage attempts!

Gosu on his way down.

After the nerves it was plain chilling.



ThDC cousins in attendance at TDC senior's birthday celebration! =)



It was good getting to know Subang more; we went to Fullhouse which I've been wanting to try for ages!




My father's now in Bangkok on seriously the best business trip. A man, an array of fishing equipment, and a body of water full of monster fish. Epic.




I looked up the firm he's checking out and found... Now this is passion.


Through fishing trips with local Thai anglers; conversations with them over many long days and nights; listening to lectures and applying all that to personal experimentation, I learned and perfected an entirely different way to fish.

Whether you're a beginner or seasoned angler ; whether you look to fish alone, with family, friends or companions; whether your budget is modest or generous; our team will help you forget - in just one day - the constraints and pressures of your hectic working life.

As far as fishing is concerned, I humbly admit that this old fisherman has learnt quite a few new tricks!
Is it not fantastic to be able to write such things, with all my experience, at 71 years of age?

It will be THE fishing event of the beginning of this millennium for Bangkok, for Thailand…my last love !



What a beauty.



Today was a full day out, productive but I'm so tired.


Things changed a little bit more on Tuesday. And even more yesterday.
I've missed being outdoors for too long. Everyday cooped up without seeing the different moods of the sun I love, forsaken in an iceberg of a concrete slab. So I went for a walk without telling anyone and it was just like last time. Even coming home, just like last time.

There was too much inside me. Too many thoughts, emotions, nuances, recollections, imaginings.
I wrote, and I wrote.

And I found myself again.

Silence Converges

I love all this synergy.
The way we of contrasting styles pit our efforts to overcome our differences.
The way we ask for criticism and improve upon it, with open arms.

At the Speed of Song

I won't hide from the light of day;
gonna dance 'til these doubts fall away.

Like sunbeams from behind skylines,
Like teardrops to my lap,
Like ribbons from the greatest gift,
And harsh words from your tongue.

...all long ago.

Just fall away.