Gives Me Hell

Don't tell me it's back to January.

I don't know how it gets this way, and I hate it so.

It saddens me to know that someone so close, one who professes love (and a "mother's love" at that!) for me, could turn on me so recklessly in a volatile instant.
But then again...

She never was maternal. I never was brought up the way most children were.


And now I'm made to feel as though your happiness, your well-being, your harmonious state of mind, (and not too long ago, your very life) rests on my shoulders alone.


This is the reason why at times I'm so afraid... I feel so breakable and I know you won't be the one to stop me from falling apart. I'm afraid of breaking you, the same way I fear I'll be broken by you. How could this happen?


I can't fix your past and I can't heal your wounds.


So stop pounding me with your suppressed frustration. Stop using me to recycle your messed up emotions. I know that I was born for this; but also for much more.

Oh, so much more.

An Army of Thoughts

Unit 49 has broken through the barriers in the first line of defense. They await orders from their chief of operations.



"What's the plan, commando?"



"Plan? There is no plan!

It's do or die,

perform or perish. "

The Race resumes in an hour.

From the Grave of Memories You Rose

Unchanging, as ever...

You may as well be God.

Only, you are beneath such status;

blatantly unworthy to be given incense unto.

Disperse, now;

you vile, sickly vapour.

Spelt.

As far as college work goes, most of the hols. have been spent immersed in Jane Eyre - or at least, as far as I can immerse myself; having abstained from casual reading for some months.
I've lost the speed, the effortless joy of skimming line after line in comprehension; for classic novels are oft generously bodied by (superbly) long sentences.

The reason why I've been hard pressed to leave this novel for another assignment is, firstly, because it has to be completely read by the time college reopens (my first holiday reading item!), and secondly, simply because it is delightful homework compared to that of other subjects.


It would be contradictory, I suppose, to say that though this homework is pleasant, I have also never slipped off into stupor so many times while reading before. Lack of practice brings me back to where neophytes might stand, unable to fall under the enchantment of words. But I suppose, also, that this post (thus far) is therefore a contradiction in itself; since it has comprised of nothing but words.


They were right;
Lit is taking over my life. Every article I see, every work of words (ads, spoken phrases, MY own writing, etc.) is beginning to come under unconscious scrutiny and review of meaning, the application of micro- and macro-view, the telescopic lens of Literature. I mean, not two days ago, I was taking a drive with Sean and Jaf while John Lennon played; and off the tip of my tongue I asked,

"What's the significance of the lemon tree?"

It still bothers me, slightly.






Fear not, readers (ala Charlotte Bronte), I have not been cloistered at home with that single novel!

Truth is, I've been out every day all last week, thus leaving (yet again) not enough time as deemed sufficient for my work to be completed. But I will (as usual) try.

Today, haircut - errands - dance practice - dinner!



I must run.

Served With Chips

Not so here, and not so there.

I am me, and you've got me thinking.

Why'd the phone ring with the wrong voice at the end?

Why'd my fingers text with frank adoration; hope on their very tips...

And touch a reverberating silence.

Inaugural Performance

No opportunity to catch G. I. Joe yet.
But I did go for Public Enemies, two Fridays ago, and it was a very long movie. In fact, some shooting scenes were just draggy and confusing.
Who died?
Who ran away?
Whose side are you on?
Bloody night was all I knew.

Aside from that, I found the show very sad because of its love story. There was a rather convincing portrayal of how a man's sweet words can sway a woman into an illusion of love. Yes, we ladies are all too familiar with that routine. But it's heartbreaking all the same to see how circumstances can render fervent promises empty.



Was out the whole of yesterday.
Lunch 'til 5.30 p.m. doing Econs project with the guys, then rushed off to the BSD clubhouse for a run-through onstage. Or rather, offstage, 'cause the stage was too tiny for us dancers. So we performed onfloor instead.



Taylor's Sri Hartamas' Rotaract Club
Inaugural I.U. Night



The dance crew representing the TSH Dance Club's hip hop class.

Lien Siaw (Dance Club secretary),
Nicole,
Hong Onn (my deskmate),
Nyat Sien (a senior like Lien Siaw).




The even was held at Phai Lin, a Thai-Chinese cuisine restaurant.
Food served was alll edible, in a good way.
(Sometimes there are many things I don't eat because I'm picky.)




Probably my favourite photo from yesterday.

Our dance performance went alright; I remembered all my steps. We were incorporated into a skit and were practically the last performance of the night.
I've never had to wait so long to perform before.




Hong Onn and I conquered that night.




We entered one game as a pair, and it was real fun =D
(especially when we overtook the male couple to get first place!)




Our first prize.




We then played the next game as a group of four, winning unexpectedly.
(a thermos cup, lol)




It wasn't easy fitting all those curves (they all weigh more than me O.o ) onto a piece of newspaper.




The ones in purple are our Vice-President and President respectively (of the Dance Club).
They performed, too.




Award-winning ceremony;
Best-Dressed Male and Best-Dressed Female.

There were all too many male nominees, in my opinion. And too little females. Some who were dressed in more attention-grabbing dresses didn't get nominated; I felt that a waste.




Nominees had to pole-dance for the title!




Of course some were more sporting than others.
It was quite an easy crowd to please; they were rather supportive of the contestants.




The title went to the guest of honour, Rotarian Robin - a man well in his prime.




Look at that.


The night drew to a close with an open dancefloor.
I didn't feel up to it, but Hong Onn burnnned. XD
She didn't dance very long, though. It was just too empty.




Thank you, do come again. =)