An Equidistant Nameless Sphere Away

Written 3rd August 2010

The old feeling enveloped me; the one of staying motionless and just looking back, nostalgia. I couldn't leave the outside, the whir of wheels and spur-of-the-moment directions called out of the child figures now only visible to me. Once I crossed the line of meeting, I couldn't turn back. Onward, my heart tugged, forward - into memories far older than those I try to restrain now. Immersed myself. The colours, not so close to the ground now - patchy black, with stabs of green; white streaks and smatterings of brown. This is where I grew up. Here in Cats' Alley. I met one of them after fifteen paces; it stared at me with familiar yellow eyes. The same tension, the same pause. I seized the moment and then went on. I liked the view from closer to the ground. Things seemed more real and existent then; not an equidistant nameless sphere away. Crunch, crunch beneath my feet; it used to fill my ears with more exuberance, contending with the wind as I raced my way to the next junction. Stopped, stood.
From this portal I turned to see how far I'd come.
My eyes flew to the space where green was in mid-convo with blue, both resting on the edge of a blackened runway. Now all the houses look the same, though on the way up each exuded personality - the same feelings as I passed the same shaded yards, the same sense of obstruction as I barely turn my head; I knew them all. Then I see you braking to a stop at the end of that runway; I hear the signal we agreed upon and steady myself for the descent. Without thought I switch the right pedal up - and push, on left. Everything hurtling rooftops converging voices scents sounds, all sliding past - swerve to the right, been wondering when that metal sheet would reappear - grip for a screech and the cats break up their conference; once more I push and my hair whips my face, my eyes sting and water but nothing stops me 'cause I know I'm returning to you.
You who wait there a little past the meeting line. I cross the threshold and go back to only holding dreams.