"Strangely Unemotional"

That was what I'd thought today would be. I thought I'd detached myself from that dependence that I've had on academic grades for all of my schooling life. Through the years, I'd allowed grades to dictate my mood for the day; and ironically enough, it was just before the most major examination of school life that I accepted that grades weren't that very important after all. And it was mostly thanks to my father; telling me not to place too much emphasis on studies.

So I loosened my grip, didn't buck up 'til the last minute; turned my whole study regime upside down. Where I once sent myself to bed before 11.30pm, now I stayed up burning the midnight oil - something so uncharacteristic of me, that I clearly remember. Where I once secured certainty in facts, now I floundered in queries and blurred recollections. The worst time to be lazy, for sure.

My preparations were hasty and panicked; in my mind I knew I'd fallen short of my old standards. Which was why I programmed myself to expect a very grounded result of 6 A's, minimum. Anything above that would make me happy.

And then there was the dream. Not long ago, I foresaw the exam slip in my hand; it showed 8 A's. Even in my sleep I felt that jolt of disbelieving pleasure.
To the right, there it was, just as I'd expected : A 'C' for Sejarah. Very realistic, very good.
Beneath that... a subject I couldn't make out, and a very, very clear 'F' for it.
This was where I wanted the dream to both be true and not be! 8 A's was the highest I dared hope for; to achieve it would be tremendous.

So came today, THE March 12th of all March 12ths. So far, so good. No sign of panic whatsoever. They delayed the release of slips by an hour, so 'nett and I had time to chat with a lot of friends. Then we ascended the steps to the hall and sat in a row ('nett, Nic, Ju, Vvan), all with different feelings as we waited out the vice-principal's speech. 'nett was positively steaming with tension =P . I was halfway pressing the 'Scared' button. Ju was completely ignoring the 'Scared' button. And Vvan was just plain scared already.

Without us even knowing, things swung into action. The VP started calling out the 3 students who'd scored straight A 1's, and then continued calling out others for some other (less) honourable thing; to which I didn't pay much attention to 'cause I was so sure I wasn't included. And suddenly I heard my Chinese name. As an automatic response, I stood up and mimicked the students that had gone before me by walking onstage, in a sort of fog. Didn't even know what I was up there for, but it must be something kinda good.
Otherwise my babes wouldn't be clapping so hard, right? O.O

The 11 people called onstaged lingered front while the others swarmed around teachers behind, getting the much awaited slips. I was already feeling out of sorts because of Najjua's bad news earlier on; and as I listened to Jafri's mom bawling with pride on loudspeaker, I felt like crying too 'cause it was just so mom-ish; something my mom would never do. Finally I slipped away, in time to see my girls get their results. 'nett had also dreamt about getting 8 A's. Only, her dream came true. Solid stuff lah. I felt so proud of her. And Ju, she got her satisfactory 6! Maybe 7, after getting rechecked. Vvan was very glad for her own grades, too. And Yann did just fine; won't need to sit for any dumb English test should she apply for TOA. =P

Reluctantly went down to pose for the school magazine, sweated like mad cow. Drove home on the double and showered even quicker, then it was off to OU to see Julius, who'd just come home from NS yesterday. Being tanned seems to suit him just fine, and he'd bought tickets while waiting for me. So it was pasta for lunch at New York New York Deli, where we also had a Harlem Chocolate Sundae and I drank a Strawberry Chocolate Velvet. To top it off, he ordered a Ms. Coco (dark Belgium hot chocolate) at the end of the very chocolatey day. Enough! Ahahaha.

As for the movie; I'd say Marley&Me is worth a pass, with the multitude of interesting movies out now. Some parts are rather draggy but overall, it was watchable. We didn't manage to shop for his necklace either; ran out of time. Another day, mate.

Sometime while waiting for the results, I realised I'd made a mistake in breaking tradition. Never thought I'd be the one to do this, but it just didn't cross my mind at the time when I committed myself to celebrating with another; which was early on in January! Very early, yes. And there was a time when I thought of the 3OfUs as my foundation; a home for the wandering me. But those years seem to have frayed by the sides, and that is why I didn't assume we'd still go out together on that big day.

Rushed to the hospital to help my mom with dinner, then go have dinner for real with my father. I've figured out the eating part; about why I'd frequently forgotten to have my meals. You see, after cutting up a plateful of food and spooning them into digestion, one feels as though he or she has already spent enough time looking at food on a plate. It doesn't occur to one that all that stuff didn't actually enter his or her stomach. Hmm.

Anyway, we celebrated at Telawi Street Bistro. The food there is the bomb; he had Lamb Shank and I had the Black Cod. Then from the hospital I came back and wondered at the many lives that have been intertwined with mine today; how there are people who care and then again, there are those who only care for themselves. And then there are people, like me, who still don't really think they've just got 10 A's out of 10.