Still Light

And it's still light;

there's still time enough to turn the dial backwards, time to recover the truth in your words.

When night does fall;

I'll be calling your name.

In the dark, in my sleep.
Through my dreams, your lies they creep.

Turn off the sun; let night freeze over and fly me to the moon.

On the stairs, made of stars.

I'll sail away in a big balloon.

No life on Earth; not for the one that will follow this.

You'll spirit me, like a gust of wind.

Off to a land so pure without sin.

Written on impulse, with no particular purpose or meaning. It's just late, and I know; I'd much rather be safe and dreaming.

Peachy Keen

This weekend has come like an unexpected train station; I've been enjoying the ride. There are no bad days at work. In fact, there have been times where I've left for Kumon in low spirits, and returned home decidedly tranquil, and even a little uplifted. By tomorrow, I would've worked at Kumon for one whole month. The experience has been gratifying so far; I do believe I couldn't have stumbled upon a more perfect first (student) job.
No standing wearily all day, giving murderous looks to shoppers who casually unfold garments and toss them aside (typical store assistant); no strenuously staring at a computer screen for hours on end (typical data entry dude); and certainly no putting on a courteous mask while serving strangers who leave a mess for you to clean up after (common waiter).

The last job is the one I'd never consider, simply based on the fact that I dislike wiping tables - and I get to do that a lot at home already. Hehe. What I love about my job is how it brings me closer to my students. Those who recite their multiplication tables with speed and precision, I admire and think of what it took me to do the same, many years ago (that would be standing on my home staircase, reciting while my mother listened with cane in hand - she is, after all, an Add Maths tutor). Those who struggle with the same table again and again, I find fulfilling in guiding; 'cause I know I'm making a difference.
On one recent occasion, a student candidly asked me,

"Do you like to look at the dogs, or d'you just sit and do your work at your table?"

I blinked. Then I remembered the row of houses which could be seen through the glass behind my desk, and the barking I'd heard occasionally. I gamely obliged by turning to squint at the dogs she meant, "one black and one orange". The orange dog was actually a light brown; and I thought it was rather a pity that there weren't any orange dogs, only orange cats. Ever thought about that?

Wednesdays being off days, are rather red letter for me. This week, I took the liberty of dropping my mother off at the hair salon and coming home to find myself effectively locked out. I had no phone, no keys; nothing. Except my car (and obviously, carkeys to start the car with). With relief, I went straight to Najjua's place with the intention of calling my mother from there. But the car was out, and I assumed she'd been behind the wheel. So I drove instead to Yann's, knowing full well she was probably still asleep. Still, I cordially greeted her new maid (who had only seen me once before) and she let me in. Ahaha. To Yann's great incredulity, I'd just slipped into her house without so much as a hassle. Her dog didn't even raise a bark. =) People, you are therefore more than welcome to invade Yann's house. NyekNyek. Well I couldn't reach my mother with her phone, so I just upped and went to the hair salon myself. What fun, to disrupt The Sleeping Yann's peace of mind so early in the day. XD

A few hours later saw us shopping in Midvalley. The first thing I bought was a(nother) pair of flip flops; but these aren't just ANY pair of beach slippers, they had suede (my favourite material) thongs and sparkling rhinestones along at dainty intervals. My first pair of Banana Peels. Before walking away, I couldn't help but inquire as to the attractive shoe bag. It could be mine for RM4, the salesgirl said. I stared. And made up my mind. Comon, firstly it was a convincing shade of brown - nothing like those watered down versions you find on some other products. And secondly, I couldn't take my eyes off the lettering upon it. My mind is distinctly programmed to lust after all manner of swirls and fluorishes. A brief transaction later, I had it dangling merrily from my wrist. What a lovely start, I thought.

I'd stepped on it, hoping to reach Midvalley in time to catch He's Just Not That Into You. But the cinema queue was too long, anyway. So we settled for Crossing Over. This movie bordered on raw at times; the way it brought to life the fragility of fate; of whether one fell into a good lot or otherwise. It is a wake up call as to how circumstances may be beyond our control; because no person can dictate where he or she is to be born, or exactly when, or how others may use those circumstances against us. It tells us, all we have is our determination to make it through; that, or letting the defeatist in us take over.
A rather wordy review? Well, that's just how I view the show. =)

It ended, and we walked stiffly out and into more shops where I picked up where I left off. I got stalled by the new Nike Free 5.0 in cool blue and deep grey combination. Quite very gorgeous. @.@
A lovely day indeed.


Friday was Aida's last day of work. She's now to focus on learning Japanese to the point of being good enough to obtain a degree in Psychology with. Which means to say, she got a JPA scholarship to study it in Japan! Congrats, babe. Jaf and I took her out for a farewell lunch, at Kozee Cafe where I discovered the deceptively unassuming Hokkien Fried Rice. It was like nasi goreng pattaya with generous helpings of Cantonese gravy.
Or, as Jaf would put it, like Cantonese kuey teow in rice form. Hahah.


And last night, an impromptu drink was arranged at Devi's Corner. Sean, Jaf and I; catching up on lost time. I gleefully ordered Sean to pick me up - his recently acquired driver's licence still being a novelty to me. Sean and I had two drinks each; I don't know how Jaf stretched his for so long. And now I wonder how Sean's bladder stretched too; 'cause I sure couldn't go on without a bathroom. So they sent me back home for a toilet break, without realising they were to pick me up again in a couple'a minutes. - -''
I called them back and we took a spin round Taman Tun before parting. Don't know why, but this phrase formed in my head to surmise the delightful hangout :


We Are Young, And Only Eighteen.


I guess it anticipates the many, many more times I've got to spend with mates, old and new, before we inevitably age to the degree where we can't just strut around, carefree and laughing. We'll have to observe decorum and not gawk at limousines and Porsche's parked in front of humble little pubs in our neighbourhood.

Jaf : It's my first time seeing a limo in real life.
Nic : Me too. Oh look, there's another one!
Sean : These people are bl**dy rich. Did you see the two Porsche's?




We can dream on, boys.

Every Man Has A Line He Draws For Himself

You know how chicken soup is reputed to be comfort to an ill person? Well, apparently it can't be all that good, 'cause I finished a whole can of Campbell's on Wednesday night - all on my own. Added with a couple of J.Co's the next morning (chocolate and mocha), it set me up for a steadily worsening sore throat. On Thursday night I lost sleep due to a majorly swollen throat. I fought with all the artillery I had - watermelon skin powder, Breacol, Strepsils, warm drinks, watermelon skin lozenges... The sore throat receded.

And it got replaced by a flu instead. It feels like I've been holding this off for weeks, staving off illness with a foot-long pole. But I can be grateful as this period has given me a much needed 10-hour sleep, and 8 hours for last night. I've been skimping so much, it's no wonder I went down.

This past day, I've been suspiciously waiting for a fever to continue the parade. But thank God, there's none. And I don't think there will be, if I sleep well again.

__________________________________________________

The afternoon before that disastrous can of Campbell soup, I finally got to catch Confessions of A Shopaholic! NyekNyek. It had some degree of unpredictability which made it a very watchable film, something I could see again... and even again! Highly entertaining; Isla Fisher carried the role superbly, making me want to laugh and cry, one after the other. This flick was touching, comic and poignant to all shopaholics - anyone who has ever dreamt of owning a DOZEN 'magic' cards. XD

And at work... I noticed a big-eyed, curly haired girl handing in her worksheet. A glance at her first page revealed her name to be Fairuz. I did a double take. Fairuz sounds very much male to me; nothing that would suit an adorable she-child with Barbie lashes. Naming your little princess Fairuz is, to me, like choosing to name your daughter Tom. Which would be short for Thombelina, probably. Or worse, like meeting a grown guy in business; and when you look at his name card, it says Sally. Jaf knows of someone like that. *Shudders*

Road Trip

Amidst these fickle days where the masses have one by one succumbed to the mysterious pull of the bulky DSLR, I must've been a fool to think I could've escaped none the wiser. As in, I'd been looking forward to never having to learn how to wield one.
Just another odd notion of mine.

However, it was practically forced into my hands yesterday at work.
Dare ye trust the Kumon instructor with the Nikon? =P

I'd unwittingly accepted my boss' offer to snap candid mugshots of all the students, thinking she'd hand me an ordinary compact camera. Next thing I knew, I was half-reluctantly putting the Nikon's strap around my neck, as one would arrange a noose around one's neck.

Three hours of bending, kneeling and half-squatting later...
I did not deign to see the absolute fun in this. Do you know how hard it is to get some kids to look you in the lens?? The moment you appear within their field of vision, down goes their head; as though they've suddenly decided to resize their writing to compete with the dots on the division sign.

Hehe, did manage to get some nice facial expressions though. Don't exactly know what the boss wants them for.

What made my day...
My soulmate dropped by at work! Aaaaand she's passed her driving test! That meanssss we can go out soon!!
Amen, I felt so glad for her 'cause I still remember how devastated she was the first (and only) time she failed her practical - and that was on SPM result day.


_________________________________________________



Mosquitoes like to bite me around the eyelids, for some strange reason.



Today's temporary double eyelid stayed the longest in the history of my life; nearly 20 minutes!


This morning I got up at 7 to follow Najjua's mom to work at Institut Jantung Negara. The plan was for me to drive back 'cause Naj hasn't gotten her licence yet and is just learning the way. She's gonna send her mom to work everyday soon. =)

'The plan' got a little more longwinded when her sister took the wheel at IJN and drove all the way to University Islam Antarabangsa, where she was to sit for her exam. Prior to this, I had no inkling how far UIA was. Now I know it's far enough for me to get carsick, lol.
And then she left us. And me with the wheel, on a route I'd never laid eyes on before.
Not the wisest decision, methinks.

So we set off from UIA, two girls fresh out of high school, cruising round in a bigass Hyundai family car. We got lost without a map; I saw us passing by Selayang, Batu Caves and goodness knows where else - 'cause I certainly don't.
This is why the element of surprise is important; it makes us do things we'd otherwise never plan to do. I know I wouldn't ever plan to drive far without a freaking map.
We made a few detours and found our bearings in the end. And after driving nonstop for over an hour, I was just so tired. Didn't even want to bother with lunch, but I had to get up and eat a little for work. Ahaha.

Ever since last year, Naj and I had talked and dreamed about going on our own food tour, and a road trip... This is just the beginning. XD




I don't need you to write my happy ending.
'Cause I already am a writer.

Everything Will Be Better, Won't It?

In the past 24 hours, I have achieved much. I've brought Kok Loong to church for the first and second time, and introduced him as Daniel 'cause we thought it'd be simpler; I've finally met his elusive elder brother who at first glance looks like your typical friendly neighbour; I've shared an apple pie with my church girls, driven a Proton, caught a long-awaited movie in the cinema, had late tea with my mother's relatives and consequently gotten a scolding from my father.

And for once, I pushed away the desire to lay the blame on others. If I hadn't decided to delay filling my petrol tank last night, I wouldn't have had to drive so slowly and carefully this evening with my last bar dangerously blinking away. If I hadn't been so ambitious and arranged a movie outing with Jaf to help relieve his depression, I wouldn't have had to be late for the relatives and therefore late for dinner with my father. If I hadn't...

All this I told myself as I cursed the driver who'd cut me and made me just miss the 4-minute green light in front of OU. And with all this in mind, I resolved to shoulder the blame like a man, because it made sense to say that it had been my fault. I'm not one to grapple with common sense.
Why choose to act stupid when the one pulling wool over your eyes is your own self?

So I faced his wrath. He was fuming as he used to do always, before he'd finally left home. I'd looked forward to telling him everything about my week, displaying my little triumphs and disappointments; but now before his anger, my girlish gossip shriveled into a tiny bead of fear.
I had nothing I wanted to say.

We sat down without saying a word, for dinner. I tried to see past my fear, and this time, I saw tiredness behind the lines of fury on his face. This time I began to understand, and recall the times I'd been just as irritable due to a hectic day. So I kept my stubbornness in check, and refrained from acting deliberately brazen. I summoned self control and patiently kept my expression calm but not too carefree - that would be asking for trouble.
As John Steinback had written, 'Sometimes the quality of woman, the reason, the caution, the sense of preservation, could cut through Kino's manness and save them all.' My father was Kino tonight, half-filled with rage. And my self-preservation succeeded in somewhat diffusing the situation. By the end of the hour, his tone had returned to almost normal. But I'd only managed to tell him a fraction of all I'd wanted to.
Now I realise, this is how anger drives others away.


____________________________________________________


Saturday's movie at church : Facing The Giants.
It was alright, about half as wonderful as Fireproof, haha. Had less of everything; humorous moments, revelations, seamless flow of storyline.


Sunday's movie with Jaf : Fast & Furious 4.
Ooooooooh I've been waiting for this!
And truly, it did not disappoint. The car chase scenes were well thought out, that's for sure. And the laugh which kickstarted the movie... Fast & Furious 4, translated to become Pantas dan Garang 4. Ahahahhha. Should've used Ganas or something else instead.
A movie way worth watching.

I'm Happy Without The Heartache You Bring.

A little piece I wrote months or weeks ago.

Here's where my time flies,

building castles in the sky.

Watched the rain fall,

dissolve my first-blush budding hope.

Like cotton candy on the bench,

raindrops pelting hard to drench.

Seek And Destroy

Wednesday :
My final photoshoot with Yann. We kept it simple, as opposed to our previous one. No lugging around of heavy hardcovers, no gingerly transfering numerous outfit changes from wardrobe to car, and no boxes and boxes of accessories to complement aforesaid outfits - which weren't even utilised, by the way.



Here she is, seen with my most precious collection of classic novels. Katy, Anne, The Little Women... all in her hands.
And then unceremoniously chucked into her car boot. =(



Her mission : To Seek and Destroy.

What else?
It's Yann, after all. I first knew her as a first-class annoyance and relentless (though mild-mannered) bully.

Oh, those weren't all the books we used. She filched two piles of hardcovers from her father's book cabinet, and we spent hours arranging them on my father's lawn, on the dining table, and on the stairs.
Yes, I sat among ants like I wanted nothing more than to read the words with them;
and I climbed onto the dining table as though I needed more light from the chandelier overhead;
and I reposed on the steps as if it wouldn't hurt my back to read there for hours.
To top it off, we did a bonus shot on the white rug, which stuck to my favourite shorts like a giler-shedding dog.

This last photoshoot was good. The location was TTDI's Taman Kiara, and the process was tiring but we got some satisfactory shots!
There was lots of monkeying around on rocks, grass and water features.
Note : My aunt spotted a black cobra in that park, about to cross the jogging track ahead of her. So please be wary the next time you drop by.

That same night, I resolved to go for a movie as I've been meaning to for weeks. Only, we didn't manage to catch Fast&Furious4 OR Shopaholic. =( Too many couples dating! Gah.
So we watched Knowing instead. It had a pretty gripping storyline, and was significantly creepy at times, but I was so disappointed at the ending where it turned out to be just another sci-fi. I hate sci-fi's.

_________________________________________________


Today was the second time in the week I took leave early from work. Don't think I'll be doing it again for the rest of my job duration. That's 1 month plus for you.

I left early mainly because I was on duty in church that night, but I also took the opportunity to meet up with my Lynette for a quick jog and even quicker clicking of tongues.


I brought her to check out the Taman Rimba Kiara, which I've never really seen before.



Turned out to be rather deserted except for a bunch of Indian boys. I rather regretted my choice of destination when they started calling out derogatory terms to which we - for what else was to be done? - showed complete oblivion, with a sliver of distaste for good measure.
We talked all the more, to show them we didn't have time to listen to their nonsense.



Slightly picturesque.
Many benches, to cater to...
nobody.



Penny for your thoughts, babe.



'nett and I slapped mosquitoes off each other all the time, and I got bitten by a red ant for the first time - after all these years of laughing at other people's fear of ants. Ahaha.
That doesn't make me any more afraid, though.



The cherry on top was catching sight of this holycowbig spider, spinning its web high in the trees.



That's...
pretty far away from us short people. XP


In conjuction with Good Friday, my church screened a movie entitled Fireproof, at night.
It was nearly faultless; with a cleverly written script, and dialogue not too contrived nor too plain. Upon the rolling of credits, I'd concluded that it had been even better than most commercial movies shown in cinemas.
Therefore, going for tonight's movie - Facing The Giants - is a given.

Recoil.

Another M.U. jersey, red.



So hooked on him.



This is what we get paid to do.

Neh, I'm kidding. Jaf was just doing what I really wanted to, towards the end of a tiring day. But I was busy marking more papers.

Anyway, we have been trusted with additional duties, making us official teachers. Kids actually come up and start "Cikgu"-ing me!
Erk? XD



Our daily materials.
You can show up at work with absolutely nothing on you, like Jaf; who doesn't get thirsty, hungry or sweaty during the eight hours of work. Meaning he buys water from the cafeteria when he feels like it, steals snacks from us, and is perfectly normal because it's so cold there that no one sweats.



We're obliged to write our initials on marked worksheets, so that the boss can give us a sounding if we slip up. Okay, not so much as a reprimand; just a friendly warning. Our boss treats us really well. =D
I was never comfortable with how my initials look exactly like those of a certain abhorred local program...


Discovered another perk of my job!

Infobyte : Kumon also teaches English. There is a little library of books at the front for students to utilise.

And I bashfully asked if I, too, might borrow books home.

Y-E-S!



My very first pick : The Velveteen Rabbit, a picture book.
*Clutching my new pepper spray, lol. Haven't had the opportunity to use it yet!*



The right choice, definitely. I love the art on its pages.
Rich colours on display here.



The setting of a nursery, with the Rabbit sitting fat and bunchy.



Smiling, fat AND bunchy!
=>



Soft and brilliant colours at the same time.
My second favourite picture.



A novel trumpet bubble-blower.



Bubble closeup.



Fat&Bunchy surrounded by real live rabbits.



Roll up your newspaper and have a go at the dragonfly. XD



Hugabun.



In this picture, I like the oil lamp.



The magic of fairies.
All that sparkle makes me stop and stare.



Absolutely radiant.



My favourite scene of them all. =)


Intermission :
Good news is, I now only work Friday mornings. That is, in addition to the usual four afternoons.
And my part time maid shall come six days a week, effective today.
Once I train her to do some stuff that I do, sleeping in will be in order.
Wooot!




Yann went grocery shopping with me, after my work and dinner.
We probably got served the last ice-creams of the night, all so melted already.
That's me holding a boysenberry single scoop. Made myself order something other than chocolate!

Uhm, we concluded that gelato is much TASTIER and better value for money compared to Baskin Robbins.
I've always favoured gelato over ordinary ice-cream anyway, ever since I discovered it many years back.



*NyekNyek*
I couldn't freaking stop my ice-cream from dripping in time. We were laughing too hard, I don't know at what. Probably an innocent passerby. Or my ridiculous expressions in response her super blur statements.


_______________________________________________



Weekends like the one that has just passed are quite unlikeable, to me. Juggling numerous responsibilities between home and church, I felt like a clown struggling to keep up the charade with his fast-moving pins.

Saturday, I sang backup in Youth service for the first time. And it wasn't so bad; don't think my voice cracked or anything.
Youth ended past 5 and therefore music practice (for Sunday) began late as well.
Which translates into : Practice ended late, about 7.20.

And I had a committee meeting at 8. Fantastic lah.
The initial time of meeting was 7! But a mate of mine pulled a few strings, and I was happy with 8 o'clock.

I allowed myself 45 minutes to prepare dinner at home, eat and bathe. Then I hurried back to church to find the other committee members still eating.
Sometimes I wish I didn't have to want to be punctual.

The meeting lasted 'til 11pm and then I sent a couple of mates home.
Reached my own home close to midnight and was obliged to get up early to play keyboard the next morning.
I didn't really know how to play two songs out of five.

On top of that, I just wanted to sleep. Oh sleep.



Today was the first time I went to work in rainy weather. Walked from my usual parking spot armed with an umbrella.
Then, the lift just had to be out of service. So I climbed four storeys up to Kumon. And Jaf wanted to scare me on the first floor but I saw him BEGINNING to run away to hide. That was funny. XD
I felt rather dull and tired until the later part of the afternoon, when Dylan entered. He brought back the sparkle in my day; I began to laugh more.
Hmm.
I wonder if Jaf secretly judges my happiness level each day, by the amount of laughter I emit. O.o
That would be rather accurate, though. =P


Jaf and Aida walked me to my car after work; it was time for lame jokes.
If they're lame enough, they might just remain in my memory long enough for me to make my grandchildren wince at their lameness.
Fortunately I'm still waiting for such a joke.

Headstrong;

don't want to be.

Language Of The Angels

Stumbled upon this captivating thought, just.

Maybe a single sentence from an angel
is so beautiful that
all of Shakespeare is like a boy writing in the sand.

Isn't it sort of magic?